Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
