remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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