well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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