Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
