he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
