Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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