Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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