the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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