i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize