I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
