I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think your dad took our porno
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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