I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
