That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
