Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
