They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
