DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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