Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize