It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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