i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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