Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
