i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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