There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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