i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
