So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
