How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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