If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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