Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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