I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
