Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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