So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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