Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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