Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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