Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
