I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What a fucking waste of an outfit
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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