I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
