he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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