she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
