I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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