the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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