so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
