I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You're a waste of cheezeits
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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