my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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