I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
