remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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