i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
