I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
