Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
