what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
