im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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