This girl is more easily done than said...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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