you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
