It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize