This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
