dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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