So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
