I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
