You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
