so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
