The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
