Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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